Pierre interrupted him.
‘Do you believe in a future life?’ he asked. ‘A future life?’ Prince Andrei repeated, but Pierre, giving him no time to reply, took the repetition for a denial, the more readily as he knew Prince Andrei’s former atheistic convictions. ‘You say you can’t see a reign of goodness and truth on earth. Nor could I, and it cannot be seen if one looks on our life here as the end of everything. On earth, here on this earth’ (Pierre pointed to the fields), ‘there is no truth, all is false and evil; but in the universe, in the whole universe, there is a kingdom of truth, and we who are now the children of earth are—eternally—children of the whole universe.
Don’t I feel in my soul that I am part of this vast harmonious whole? Don’t I feel that I form one link, one step, between the lower and higher beings, in this vast harmonious multitude of beings in whom the Deity—the Supreme Power if you prefer the term—is manifest?
If I see, clearly see, that ladder leading from plant to man, why should I suppose it breaks off at me and does not go farther and farther? I feel that I cannot vanish, since nothing vanishes in this world, but that I shall always exist and always have existed. I feel that beyond me and above me there are spirits, and that in this world there is truth.’
‘Yes, that is Herder’s theory,’ said Prince Andrei, ‘but it is not that which can convince me, dear friend—life and death are what convince. What convinces is when one sees a being dear to one, bound up with one’s own life, before whom one was to blame and had hoped to make it right’ (Prince Andrei’s voice trembled and he turned away), ‘and suddenly that being is seized with pain, suffers, and ceases to exist … Why? It cannot be that there is no answer. And I believe there is … That’s what convinces, that is what has convinced me,’ said Prince Andrei.
‘Yes, yes, of course,’ said Pierre, ‘isn’t that what I’m saying?’ ‘No. All I say is that it is not argument that convinces me of the necessity of a future life, but this: when you go hand in hand with someone and all at once that person vanishes there, into nowhere, and you yourself are left facing that abyss, and look in. And I have looked in …’
‘Well, that’s it then! You know that there is a there and there is a Someone? There is the future life. The Someone is—God.’
Prince Andrei did not reply. The carriage and horses had long since been taken off, onto the farther bank, and reharnessed. The sun had sunk half below the horizon and an evening frost was starring the puddles near the ferry, but Pierre and Andrei, to the astonishment of the footmen, coachmen, and ferrymen, still stood on the raft and talked.
‘If there is a God and future life there is truth and good, and man’s highest happiness consists in striving to attain them. We must live, we must love, and we must believe that we live not only today on this scrap of earth but have lived and shall live for ever, there, in the Whole,’ said Pierre, and he pointed to the sky. Prince Andrei stood leaning on the railing of the raft listening to Pierre, and he gazed with his eyes fixed on the red reflection of the sun gleaming on the blue waters.
There was perfect stillness. Pierre became silent. The raft had long since stopped, and only the waves of the current beat softly against it below. Prince Andrei felt as if the sound of the waves kept up a refrain to Pierre’s words, whispering: ‘It is true, believe it.’ He sighed, and glanced with a radiant, childlike, tender look at Pierre’s face, flushed and rapturous, but yet shy before his superior friend.
‘Yes, if only it were so!’ said Prince Andrei. ‘However, it is time to get on,’ he added, and stepping off the raft he looked up at the sky to which Pierre had pointed, and for the first time since Austerlitz saw that high everlasting sky he had seen while lying on that battlefield; and something that had long been slumbering, something that was best within him, suddenly awoke, joyful and youthful, in his soul. It vanished as soon as he returned to the customary conditions of his life, but he knew that this feeling which he did not know how to develop, existed within him. His meeting with Pierre formed an epoch in Prince Andrei’s life. Though outwardly he continued to live in the same old way, inwardly he began a new life.
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